Sometimes things happen for a reason but why is it that the reason has to be so hurtful? I started watching a new show called the Good Wife. Very interesting considering our politics is actually that way during this time period. I really do not think I heard anything about political cheating until President Clinton’s infidelities were publicized. Why is it that the wife decided to stay with the husband after allegations and proven infidelity happened? Why can’t every wife be like the good wife and leave? Just slap the crap out of them and get on with their life? I know people say this is easier said than done and that a wife should stand by their man but at what price, should their life be turned upside down because their husband has done something very tragic to them? If I was in their shoes I would have to stop myself from wondering how to take my husband off this planet without getting caught. I have always wondered what fuels a man to leave a good woman. Why not just get a divorce? Why cheat? I would much rather divorce my husband because he cannot be honestly faithful than to be embarrassed by the infidelity that comes with a lying husband. In the end it isn’t a place that I would want to be, and unlike the political wives I do not want my family issues continuously aired out across America.

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A great thing about not having anything is the fact that you want everything. My husband and I sold all of our furniture when we moved from our house to move in with my mother a few months ago. We left behind multiple things dishes, clothes, a couch, among many other things so we could start all over.  At what point do you decide that you have everything you need and no longer want anything? My husband and I decided that we needed a complete new start we didn’t want to start over with anything we had. The only thing we kept were a few decorations that my husband and I couldn’t replace ever. We have had a really long and hard six years and we finally decided that it was time we restarted our lives. We packed up my daughters belongings and set out to start a new journey and to my surprise I haven’t really wanted anything at all since then. I remain thankful for the things that I do have and don’t fret much over the things I don’t have. My mother had a room full of furniture that we are able to use while staying with her and the more we settle into the house the more it feels like home. We have our privacy because we are at the opposite end of the house and don’t have to worry about much. My daughter has a room to herself and she will soon have a little sibling to share with but we have decided that is ok because by the time our second child is almost a year we will be able to move into a home of our own.

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There are those famous things that everyone just loves to snack on, and most of the time you can just buy them at the convenient store or a grocery store. But, some how, my mom has figured out how to make them herself and make them taste a million times better. I can no longer eat beef jerky that you buy from the store, because it just can’t compare to the kind that she makes herself. I don’t know why, or what kind of magic she does, but the beef jerky she makes cannot be mocked in the same manner, either. Even with the exact recipe it will not taste the same, because it’s the little random things that she adds a bit more of that she doesn’t even notice that make it into what it is. And Chex Mix? Yeah right. I haven’t eaten Chex Mix out of a bag in years. It just doesn’t compare in the slightest to the kind she makes. And, when it is juuuust out of the oven and you get to grab some of it, that is the best. When she makes her jerky, it has to marinate for a long time, and then she puts it in the oven for several hours. So, you get to sit in the house and just smell it everywhere. It takes so long to be ready, and no one should be eating raw meat, but it’s so hard to wait until it’s done. It’s these special little things that make the holidays even better.

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Loud neighbors are the worst. I don’t know how people can be so inconsiderate towards their neighbors. I have a lot of experience with living next to loud people. If it’s not a loud inhabitant of the next apartment, it’s a loud roommate. Loud is fine as long as it’s during most people’s waking hours. Someone vacuuming the apartment above yours can be irritating, but understandable during the day. It’s those lunatics who feel like they need to vacuum at four in the morning that I can’t stand. The nighttime vacuumers are bad, but not near as bothersome as the girl next door who’s headboard is always banging against your wall or the guy who pulls up the his apartment next door at midnight and sits in his car with the lights on and music blaring for twenty minutes before he gets done texting and goes inside to be annoying. I know everyone’s got a life to live and they can do whatever they want with it, all I’m asking for is a little consideration. How do you even feel good about yourself when your depriving everyone else of sleep and making them hate your face? Roommates can be as bad as neighbors sometimes. Those idiot roommates who always come in super late and stay up being loud with friends or slamming doors and cabinets everywhere they go bug the crap out of me. I don;t mind it every now and then. Hell, I don’t mind someone being loud up to half of the time, but every night is just rude.

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    A mom’s love is like no other and my mother has showed many times that she will always be there for me and the rest of the family that need her. I felt as though she was always over my shoulder as a kid and I never had any breathing room. I moved out right after high school and got married very young. I chalked it up to being raised without a father, and so did she. However my marriage is still going strong we have had our ups and downs and mom has always been there as a shoulder to cry on. I always felt as though she was there I just didn’t want her so close. My brother has made a home in New York and of course my sister has made a life in Snyder. I on the other hand cannot seem to get out of my mom’s sight. I am the oldest and there for have always been there when she needed her shoulder to cry on. I am now twenty five and my husband and I along with our child live with my mom. She has never liked having a large house to herself and has always been a sucker for loud houses. When she is home all alone she says that her empty nest syndrome has gotten worse. We chose to move in because she was alone and it will take us a few years to save and buy our own house. However she has already started trying to get us to stay longer. Got to love her!

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   The plus side to renting is the maintenance work falls on the landlord. The school taxes if you live in an area fall on the landlord. However you can’t really make any changes to the home to make it feel as though it is yours. A landlord wants you to treat the home as though it was yours and do to it what you would like until it comes to the inside. When I try to make the home mine the landlord gets mad and then we wind up getting evicted because we painted a wall to accommodate our child. I still don’t understand. If you own your home however you can do anything. You do have to pay school taxes if required and you have to have money to maintenance the house but honestly if you buy a newer home then how much maintenance do you have for the next few years? This is what I keep asking myself every time my husband and I have the discussion on renting or buying our home. Personally I would love to own my home but in all actuality is it really worth the hassle or do you let your landlord do it and then count on them not to be a slum and fix  your items. It remains a hard choice for most people and will continue to remain a hard choice for us as well.

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1.)    Having a ghost for a brother in law is something I didn’t think was possible. However I have a brother in law that has heard the family gripe that he never comes down since he has left for a completely different state. My nieces who are in their teens have not seen him since they were two and just born and my nephews who are ten have never seen him. Then we get down to my daughter and my husband and I. I constantly have to hear how bad it is to have a brother and not be able to see him ever. My husband has stayed more upset and feels as though he never had a brother at all because he hasn’t been to our town in years.  I have been with my husband for eight years and our daughter is two and he hasn’t been here yet. I always feel as though he is just a family member everyone talks about but he never appears it’s almost like he doesn’t exist. He reminds me of a made up person that some child created years ago and has never let go of. The hardest thing about it all is to see my husband upset about the whole thing. My oldest niece has sent him a letter letting him know that she was very upset that he could go anywhere he wanted to but here was not ever on his list. She explained she was very mad and hated not knowing who he was. I don’t think I have ever seen a child express feelings like that to an adult but it must have worked in some way because he is trying hard to come down for the holidays. Hopefully my husband will get the wish of a lifetime.

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I’ve been living these past few months in my new apartment with out a washer and dryer. I’ve only had to actually go to a Laundromat once, and I haven’t been back since. Now, I do laundry at a friends house, or during the occasional trip home. My apartment has an on site laundry place, but they charge as much as the Laundromat and you they are regular sized washer and dryers. And they make you pay some stupid fee to get a key to get in there, which I don’t feel like paying. So, after dealing with it for a few months, my mom called me the other day and told me that they had decided to get a new set while they were in Amarillo. They were shopping at Lowe’s and found a really good set of front loaders that they had wanted for a long time for a cheap price. They went back to Dumas before deciding they really wanted them, so by the time they got back into town the next day all the sets had been sold. Luckily, they let her put the money down for them and said that when they get in some more sets they could get them for the same price if they paid in full beforehand. So, all of this good news leads to more good news for me… I get to have their old washer and dryer in my apartment! I have hook ups, but just haven’t had the time or money to go get my own, so now I don’t have to go to the Laundromat ever again! I just have to wait a few weeks for my parents to get the new ones in and I’ll be in business.

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Every time I pull into my little home town, the minor changes are obvious to me. When you are headed to Dumas, you drive in the north part of Amarillo by Wonder Land, which is a small theme park. I noticed that they had painted everything in there with new colors. It’s impossible to ignore the changes when you know the place so well. I can tell that they have added new giant wind mills outside of town before you pull in from the south. I can see new restaurants that are trying to make it in town, although most of them close before I even get the chance to eat there. When I get into my house, I can see all the different things that my parents have done. Some of the things just seem like bigger deals than they are, and that I should already know about them. Like, the last time I came home my parents got a new shower head in their master bathroom. No one told me. I don’t know why this bothers me, but it just seems like I still live here, but when I think about it I’m only here once every few months. And these changes just let it be more known that I’m not here as often as I feel I am. I’ll notice something, mention it, and it was changed months ago. I guess I’m just out of the loop when it comes to Dumas!

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Another day another marriage woe. I really don’t understand how having dinner and laundry done by the time the husband gets home tells them we have been busy all day.  So as you can tell I didn’t have dinner done tonight and I didn’t have laundry done. My husband was more upset over dinner than anything else. He just looked at me like I hadn’t done anything all day but let me tell you the two year old that continuously runs around my legs keeps me more busy than any job that you could ever imagine. So he acts as though I have done nothing all day. I can’t handle the huffing and puffing so I send him to the store for diapers. During the mean time I start dinner, and to his surprise we are having breakfast for dinner. Ham and eggs it is. When he gets back from getting the diapers I have dinner started. Why is it that when you finally decide to do something then they look at you and say you didn’t have to do that. Really? I thought that is what you wanted was to do is cook dinner. I swear I’m so tired of husbands I could literally make mine sleep on the couch tonight. I hope that he soon learns that being a tay at home mom and wife isnt as fun and easy as he thinks. It wasnt because I wanted to stay home he thought it would be good while I was pregnant. Geeze men.

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