I don’t know about the rest of the women out there, but I l like the glass ceiling. I feel like it’s my job to hold it up for all of those big smart men to walk around on. That is an important job. If it weren’t for us women, how would those big smart men be able to walk around up there and make all of that money to support our babies and ourselves? Those crazy ladies who strive to walk around up there are just out of their little minds. Our little woman brains can’t handle all of that information and stress. It’s best to just stay where we belong and make sure the glass ceiling stay clean and clear. What kind of woman wants to give up her role as a stay at home whatever to go make her own money and do important man things? That’s just lunacy!
I hope the sarcasm of that paragraph was conveyed. If you actually believed me, I hope your little woman or man brain stays under the glass ceiling. People that gullible don’t deserve to be running things anyways. As far as the workplace goes, I don;t believe there should be different roles for men and women. The workplace is for workers. No one’s abilities should be judged on sex, but rather aptitude and the physical qualifications it takes to get a job done. I knew a deaf bartender once. She could read anyone’s lips and make anything they wanted without a problem or a hearing aid. Even though she was just doing her job, it impressed tons of tips out of people.

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I used to work at a horse race track. This is a true little story with a moral: It was the last weekend of a races. It was Labor Day weekend. People pay around 3000 bucks a season to “own” their tables. I had over 40 tables and their owners in my section and I had the same tables all season long. I knew them, they knew me, I ate dinner with them, babysat their houses, watered the plants, that kinda crap. They took care of me and I made sure they had whatever they needed at the track. These people buy 2 beers with hundred dollar bills and say “keep the change”. The last day I worked before all of the trouble started I was at work all day (12 hours) and I got screwed over on tips and tables because a coworker wasn’t being nice or working well with others. She was table-napping and tip stealing. I’m not really the type to get upset about these kinds of things, it’s only table waiting, but I was starting to get a little irritated. I asked my boss to keep her off my tables, but he did absolutely nothing but placate me. So the next day I showed up to work with my coffee and candy and started going about my business when the boss man came up and informed me that there was a woman who would be taking half of my section that weekend. All I said was “Absolutely not.” and kept wiping off tables. We had a little debate for a few minutes before I informed him that I had been screwed over yesterday and on several other occasions and I wasn’t gonna let it happen this weekend. It was two sisters I worked with who had given me trouble all season. Incidentally, the woman who wanted to work Labor Day weekend (which was a HUGE money weekend) was the sisters’ mother. OH HELL NO! To make a long story short, I got angry, my boss got his feelings hurt and he told me I was fired. I told him I was not fired, verbally bitch slapped him, and went about my business. I worked all weekend, made lots of cash, and didn’t have my territory invaded by a table-napper or a spineless little man who tuned out to not be much of a boss. Moral of the story is to stand your ground when it really matters to you. That’s east to say since it was the last weekend of the season though….Well stand your ground anyways. Might work out. If not you’ll have a good story.

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One of the best jobs I ever had was working as a lifeguard during the summer. Sure, you had to do all the hard training for first aid and CPR, but once you were done with that, most of the time you never had to actually use that. We were always refreshed in the course, but I was lucky enough to never have to actually put my skills to use. Some people refer to it as “glorified babysitting”, which I can understand, but you really are constantly paying attention to what is going on around you. I had a decent tan, I got to hang out with my friends all the time, I got to be outside all summer, and I got to give swimming lessons to kids. It was awesome. I’m just really lucky that I never had to deal with anything that would make the job scary. There were little instances with kids running on the pavement and slipping, tears but never any injuries. To this day, when I’m at a pool I have the habit to be constantly looking out for the people swimming around me. I always find myself yelling at kids when they are running around by the water. I think it’s something that is always going to stick with me, which is a really good thing when I have kids or there are kids around me. Awesome job, I would suggest it to anyone looking for a cool summer job to make some extra money.

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