Sometimes things happen for a reason but why is it that the reason has to be so hurtful? I started watching a new show called the Good Wife. Very interesting considering our politics is actually that way during this time period. I really do not think I heard anything about political cheating until President Clinton’s infidelities were publicized. Why is it that the wife decided to stay with the husband after allegations and proven infidelity happened? Why can’t every wife be like the good wife and leave? Just slap the crap out of them and get on with their life? I know people say this is easier said than done and that a wife should stand by their man but at what price, should their life be turned upside down because their husband has done something very tragic to them? If I was in their shoes I would have to stop myself from wondering how to take my husband off this planet without getting caught. I have always wondered what fuels a man to leave a good woman. Why not just get a divorce? Why cheat? I would much rather divorce my husband because he cannot be honestly faithful than to be embarrassed by the infidelity that comes with a lying husband. In the end it isn’t a place that I would want to be, and unlike the political wives I do not want my family issues continuously aired out across America.

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Why is it that when you go to a family members house you always have to worry about whether or not you’re welcome at the house? I feel this way constantly when I go to my grandmother’s house for family get together’s. It is no secret that this particular side of the family which happens to be my dad’s family hates my mother and continuously talks about her after twenty years. I really wonder what goes through their heads when they invite us over for some kind of family function. I used to not care as to whether or not I went at all, but because I have children and my cousins and I have gotten closer I go. When I am getting ready to go to their house it never fails I have to get so dressed up that I feel as though I am going out with my husband that night.  However if I don’t get dressed up then the ugly looks begin. I don’t understand why it is they could show up in pajamas and we have to show up in something as though we are dressed to the nines. I cannot stand the way some families treat you. Its not just my family that does this, my husband’s family is the same way. We always feel out of place when we go anywhere. Were we both so bad that people don’t want us around or do we have more class then they do and they become jealous? Who knows but what I do know is that is not what I call family.

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Have you ever received unwanted opinions from family members who technically shouldn’t say anything? I have been in more situations trying to defend myself than I have just having a good time with family. One of my situations included smoking while I was pregnant. I know what everyone says about smoking while you’re pregnant, you shouldn’t be smoking while you are pregnant you will harm your baby. What do you say to family that has been in the same boat and now they are telling you what to do? I have had to explain myself constantly over smoking while pregnant. I have spoke to my doctor about the smoking and fact is he would rather me smoke then try to take depression medication and have a higher chance of harming my child. This is what I keep trying to explain to the family. My doctor knows that I smoke, however he doesn’t like the fact that I smoke he does know about it. It’s pretty amazing my child is safe and growing very healthy inside my stomach. I also smoked with my first child and what is funny about that is they never said a word about me smoking with her. Surprise she turned out very healthy and very beautiful.  So as I continue to try and explain this to my in-laws they continue to bad mouth the situation. The only thing I can say to them is until my doctor states that it is causing issues with my child it is not going to stop.

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I looove Christmas shopping. What I don’t love is keeping secrets. I have the hardest time not telling people what I got them, or giving them their presents early. My sister and I are both really bad at this, so it’s always been our tradition to give each other our gifts as soon as we get to see each other over the holidays. This year, I already have pretty good ideas of what I’m getting everyone, and I want to make sure that everyone is happy, so it’s really hard for me to not ask them and make sure it’s going to be a good gift idea. And, I’m always really scared that I’m going to get something for someone that someone else got them. I hate when ever I get someone a double gift, it makes me sad that they are going to have to return it and get something else to replace one of them. I always try to talk with everyone before hand in the family to make sure and find out what they are getting so there are no duplicates during Christmas. This year, though it’s pretty early, I already know what my brother is getting for his girlfriend and what I should get for him, so I just have to fill in everyone else and we will all be on the same page. Now, I just have to make sure that I can do that for everyone, so we are all good with the entire family. I can’t wait to go shopping!

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    A mom’s love is like no other and my mother has showed many times that she will always be there for me and the rest of the family that need her. I felt as though she was always over my shoulder as a kid and I never had any breathing room. I moved out right after high school and got married very young. I chalked it up to being raised without a father, and so did she. However my marriage is still going strong we have had our ups and downs and mom has always been there as a shoulder to cry on. I always felt as though she was there I just didn’t want her so close. My brother has made a home in New York and of course my sister has made a life in Snyder. I on the other hand cannot seem to get out of my mom’s sight. I am the oldest and there for have always been there when she needed her shoulder to cry on. I am now twenty five and my husband and I along with our child live with my mom. She has never liked having a large house to herself and has always been a sucker for loud houses. When she is home all alone she says that her empty nest syndrome has gotten worse. We chose to move in because she was alone and it will take us a few years to save and buy our own house. However she has already started trying to get us to stay longer. Got to love her!

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   Holidays with the outlaws are like holidays in hell. My family on my father’s side is never been the family we hoped and longed for. As kids we were called names and our weight was made fun of. However the worse part of all of it was when they would talk about our mother so badly that pretty soon we second guessed our mother and the love she had for us. After my dad died my mom tried to keep us away from the grandparents because they always treated us so badly. They never treated us badly in a physical state but our mental state was always degraded after we come home. When we were young our grandparents won a court battle that stated we had to go to their home every three weeks. Unfortunately us kids were not happy about that. As I grew older I began to grow apart from that side of the family including cousins. Now that we are grown and all have families of our own I try to let my children get involved with some of the activities that they put on for holidays. I never leave my children alone however. I try to make an appearance even though I have so much hatred for the way they not necessarily treated me but they way they treated my mother and my siblings. I only try to stay about an hour because my husband doesn’t like being there either. Hopefully I will overcome my hatred but everything is not forgivable and nothing is forgettable.

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   Bull-riding blues is something my husband has now come back in tune with. My cousin who has ridden dirt bikes all of his life and looked for adrenaline rushes at different times decided he wanted to go to the old bucking arena and try a new adrenaline rush. I feel as though my husband is getting more and more into the thrill of it and wants to go back. Before I met my husband he rode bulls competitively and competed in many rodeos all the time. When my cousin announced that this was the new adrenaline rush he wanted to try, my husband was right at it trying to explain how to get the best ride. My cousin soon decided that he wanted my husband at the arena with him. My worst fear had become true and now my husband cannot talk about anything but bull riding. He made the promise when we started trying to make our family that his bull riding days were over. I felt like everything would be fine I didn’t have to get overwhelmed when he was away in competition that he would be gored or stepped on, or even worse not come home at all. Now that he has started his passion again and we are pregnant with our second child I am more furious than ever. He swears he is just going to help my cousin but I think it will turn into a lot more than that. However I will be there to root my cousin on and keep a thumb on my husband.

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    My sister and her husband are already having marital issues after getting married this weekend. Unfortunately the lover’s quarrel has already started. The very first fight is over her being gone longer than he thought she should be. I remember those days however I don’t remember my husband getting that way until a month or so after we had been married and he was never that way when it comes to my family. That is exactly what she was doing visiting us and picking up my niece. Really how long do you expect someone to be gone when you live in Snyder and your family lives in Lubbock? He called over five times in the thirty minutes that she was here and wanted to know why she wasn’t on the road yet. It was at the moment he told her he was going over to a friends to drink that I realized maybe this wasn’t so great after all. I am really hoping that things work out but with a rocky start like that it isn’t sounding to great. I don’t remember my husband being a jerk like that but I do remember him being jealous. Its strange how when you are married young you are both so insecure that things seem like large problems. After they have been together for eight years then maybe they will be like me and my husband when neither of us cares what the other is doing because there is trust between us.

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As I mentioned, my friend Kayla was induced and had her little baby on Saturday. Today, I got to meet the little guy and hold him. At a whopping six pounds plus a couple ounces, he was the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never got to hold a baby that was so young, most of the time by the time I get to see the baby they are already a few months or more old, so they are bigger. And sturdier. He seemed so little and helpless, and I was so scared at first to hold him. But, he’s perfect. The bluest eyes ever, and a head full of blonde hair. His little fingers and finger nails were my favorite part, I can’t believe they are so small but they look so… human. I’ve seen some pictures of some babies that were just born and some of them have looked a little scary. Some of them look like little old people, all wrinkly. But, he was perfect. I expected him to just start talking because he looked just like a little adult. I can’t wait for my sister to have hers, she found out today what she is having and is waiting to tell the entire family until we are all together, so I can’t say anything on here because you never know who’s creeping around and readying what I write! I’ll write all about it as soon as the entire family knows!

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Eight things that melt my heart: 1) When my little dog, Patrick, sings. When I sing to him he catches on immediately and tries to keep up with my pitch. He throws his little head back so far when he howls that tips over backwards though, so it’s important to hold him up. 2) My friends. My close friends can convince me to participate in just about any bad idea they come up with. I just can’t say no. Presents from them are always the best. They know me better than anyone. 3) “I love you”. When it’s said right, by the right person at just the right time it makes me want to cry. I don’t cry though. That’s just not what I do. 4) Kids with disabilities. They are to young to realize they are different and just do whatever they need or want to do without a care in the world. Disabled kids are one of the most inspirational forces out there. 5) My mom. The way my mom looks at me when she feels like I’ve achieved something is just great. I know she thinks everything I do is a big deal and it’s just so cute. 6) Baby animals. Baby humans make me nervous, but baby animals are just so cute when they fall over, yawn, make noise or sleep. 7) A specific person’s eyes. Stocking stuffers. My grandmother is is still adamant about make sure I get them. They are always the same things, pecans, walnuts, apples, nail files, cookies, and five dollars. I’m not sure why.

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