Anthropology can be broken down into two Greek words. The prefix “anthro” comes from the Greek word “anthros” which literally translates in to “man. The suffix “ology” comes from the Greek word that means “study”. Quite literally, “anthropology” means the study of man. However, in today’s politically correct society, we like to call it “the study of humans”. Since “the study of man” would more or less imply that we are examining only a little over half of the world’s population. Since “the study of humans” is such a broad area to cover, anthropology has been divided into subfields that break off bite sized chunks of humanity to be scrutinized. I won’t go into all of the subfields here. I specifically want to talk about a branch of the subject called cultural anthropology.
The job of the cultural anthropologist is to study how a specific group of people interact with each other, and their surroundings. This is a very broad over view of the field but in essence, there you have it. Initially, this seems like a relatively easy task. To simply watch and understand how a group of individuals, bound by common beliefs and values, interact with the world around them and simply write down your observations surely must be a job that even an undergraduate could do. Two things make this a little more difficult than initially perceived. The first, is the fact that the cultural anthropologist must essentially forget what he knows about the world he lives, in and delve into this new culture as ignorant as a new born as far as the language, customs, relationships and a myriad of other aspects fit together. This is challenging because it’s hard not to transpose your ideas on the workings of the world onto a group of people who think differently. Remaining objective isn’t an easy thing to do. The second challenge the cultural anthologist faces is something called “cultural relativity” This basically means that ideas about right and wrong, good and evil and what is acceptable vs. taboo is relative to the culture in which these rules are implemented. Cannibalism, for instance is considered to be disgusting, wrong and evil within Western culture. However, there are tribal groups who view it as necessary, spiritual or positive. One group of people will eat the flesh of formidable enemies that have been killed in order to gain their powers. This is a drastic (but true) example of a situation in which an anthropologist must understand cultural relativity and remain objective when observing and documenting ways of life.
Since this blog is reading so much like an article, I think I’m going to wrap it up here by admitting that while cultural anthropology is an absolutely fascinating field, it is very complex, emotional, and not for the faint of heart.
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Like I don’t feel annoyed enough with the situation, MTV is showing a true life called, “I can’t leave my boyfriend”. This topic already makes me man, and then watching these girls on TV going through it just makes me want to talk some sense into them. If a man is not treating you the way you need or want to be treated, then you need to get away from that man and fine one that will. A lot of my friends have been or are currently in this same situation, that they think they can “change the man” into what they want, but come on, it’s not going to happen. If some guy is capable of doing all these mean things to you, why would you want to waste your time on him, anyway? I don’t understand you ladies. Demand respect, and don’t let anyone give you less. People are selfish, and that’s just how it works. So, when you’re in a relationship and your partner learns that they can get away things certain things, they are going to continue to test the boundaries and limits. People want to make themselves happy before anyone else, and if you’re stuck with someone like that, then you are never going to feel needed or care for. If you sit back and let someone treat you any way they want, then you can expect to be treated in the worst ways possible. Love, love, love, I can understand that, and you may be in love, but the person who can do these mean things to you obviously is not. Get away and find someone who will.

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Jealousy is a dastardly suspicion that can sour the best of relationships. Jealousy can pollute a placid pond of romance and make a unfaltering friendship fester. (Alliteration is my favorite literary device, so I’m just gonna run with it on this one. Mmmk?) Jealous men will manipulate their mates becoming mousy, mistreated mortals who believe that they are misbehaving by making small talk with men. Distrustful dames don’t deny that they are skeptical schemers who will slap the sh** out of their staminate studs when they speak to the other sex. Jealousy jades the purest of intentions and judges it’s victim through it’s big green eyes. (That’s enough alliteration for now).
People who are crazy jealous have serious trust issues. Speaking from experience, the most jealous people are those who have skeletons in the closet. If a guy is going ape shit because your male study partner asked you a potential exam question via text on a weekend, chances are, he’s just having a flash back to the last text he got from a girl whom he is misbehaving with. People automatically assume that you are behaving as badly as they are when there is something they are hiding. Maybe it’s because they know the tricks and assume you are pulling one or because it makes them feel less guilty to think your skankin around too. Who knows. Friends who are always getting jealous of your clothes, looks, guy/girl, job or whatever, clearly aren’t all that confident in themselves. They will tear you down just to try to feel better. Neither are good relationships to be in and both either need to be addressed, or snubbed. Right now.

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Red flags in relationships shouldn’t be ignored. Red flags don’t fade away. They just get bigger, brighter and blinding. Eventually all you will be able to see when you look at your significant other will be a giant, flapping, blood red flag. Red flags are tricky little bastards. Sometimes they hide behind annoying habits. If you can’t stand the glupy swallowing sound someone makes when he eats or drinks, chances are, there is a red flag hangin out somewhere. If you hate how someone eats, it’s probably more than just the sound he or she is making. The problem is most likely a deep-seeded issue manifesting it self as the sound of a gulp. When you really care about someone who you know is a good match for you, things like smacking or hair in the sink are never even issues. Little idiosyncrasies like those are endearing but only when you truly like a person for all that he or she is. If the person your with is always negative and your not, that’s a red flag. Some who is always draggin you down is going to magically start lifting you up someday. If someone can’t trust you, they aren’t going to eventually see how trustworthy you really are. Someone who is too controlling won’t decide to give it a rest one day. People don’t get less aggressive the more comfortable they get with you. Little yellowy-orange flags can be dealt with. They can sometimes even be worked out all together, but the red ones are just nasty viruses that your misplaced love will never cure.

There was a show on MTV today that followed around couples who were in long distance relationships and trying to make them work. Well, they don’t. Yeah yeah, I’m harsh, but in my own opinion they are not plausible. Sure, you can force it, fight all the time, and maybe when you finally get back in a face to face relationship there can be something small yet salvageable left, but who wants to do that? The only people that are involved in these relationship are those in their early to mid twenties. When you are that age, don’t you want to be exploring the minds of those around you, and in doing that create and mold yourself into the person you want to be? Or do you want to be on your phone or Skype all day long with someone as miserable as you “talking” about what you did that day? Now, don’t get discouraged if you feel like you know exactly what you’re talking about. I think short time frames apart can be dealt with. Like, if you and the person have been together for a long time, and they want to go abroad for a semester. Go, have fun, miss each other like crazy, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But, if the time you are going to be spending apart is longer than the actually relationship you have been in, then come on. It’s just going to strain what connection you have. Break up, grow up, and then when they come back see where you are in your lives. Sometimes, maybe you’ll be right together in your growing and you can continue your relationship peacefully. Sometimes, you’ve gown apart, and that is the way it should be. But pressuring it to continue for a lengthy amount of time a far distance apart will be strenuous for all involved, and may completely end what relationship you had to where it can no longer even be a friendship. Rough, but true. At least in my opinion.

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I have never been close to being married. I lived with Mr. Negative for a while, but that just drug me down. He’s really a caring person. I think he just lets things get to him bad enough that he’s jaded towards women, work, society, education, family, water, air, food…those types of things. Without the pessimism, he would be wonderful, but I couldn’t handle it. Plus I was in “me” mode then too and he was talking about getting insurance together and making huge sacrifices for each other and so on. “Me” time doesn’t mean I’m totally selfish and incapable of being a girlfriend. It just means I’m not ready to sacrifice my education, dreams, goals and ambitions for the greater good of the team (which I would hopefully never need to want to do). I don’t mind sharing, but I still want my own things. I’m not ready for everything to be “ours” and “the”…like “go ahead and take THE car…it’s OURS.” He hated that I wasn’t ready to give up my life to merge with his. Needless to say, we broke up. I have tried to be friends with him, but he just stresses me out so so so much. He’s super negative and always really unenthusiastic and unsupportive about anything I have ever wanted to do with my life. He told me when we were together that if I went to Africa (which I’ve always wanted to do) that he would leave me because I would come back with AIIIIDDDDDSSSS! Forensics was bad because dead bodies have diseases and AAAIIIIIDDSSS! Nursing was bad because of the AAAIIDDSS, paramedic was bad cause of the big bad HIV too. We have been broken up for almost a year and anytime we run into each other he still drags me down a list of anything I’ve ever done wrong or anyone else has ever done wrong to him. He doesn’t believe me that water expands when it freezes and that’s why ice is less dense, making it float. Apparently ice is heavier than water……Tell that to the Titanic. Obama is also a Muslim from Saudi Arabia….. What? The boy will argue about anything whether he knows what he’s talking about or not. He usually doesn’t. Point is, it’s not worth someone so negative that he’ll disagree with the laws of physics just to be disagreeable.

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I’m not sure if technology makes a relationship better or worse. A text definitely is not as personal as a call, and a call is not as personal as a visit, but sometimes visits just aren’t in the cards. I basically carry on a virtual relationship with my boyfriend. I do see him every now and then. I’ll see him this weekend in fact, but for the most part we date via texts, emails and calls. I can’t decide how I feel about that. I’m unquestionably one who needs my own space, but 4 states away might just be a little too much space. In a way I feel like I can be more honest and open via written word. In fact I know I can. It’s hard to open up face to face. For me anyways. I’ve spelled out all of my bad habits and negative tendencies for him and he seems to think they are 100 percent manageable. Of course they are when you never have to deal with them. But then again, my bad qualities are out there. I’m not holding back or trying to put on a show for him. If I get annoyed, we argue via text or phone calls. How much emotion can you really put into a text? Does an “emoticon” do a feeling justice? No, no it does not. Stupid question. Well, the upside is that we are together and I’m not sure I could say that if instant communication wasn’t as much of an option as it it.

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I’ve been dating my boyfriend here for awhile, and we have a good thing going on. One of the most obvious indicators for me to know that our relationship is good and healthy is that we both still have our friends. “What?” you ask, and by that I mean we still have our own lives. This is so important for a relationship to work out for the long run. Most couples get stuck on eacho ther in the beginning, and stop hanging out with their friends or doing things they used to do on their own. A lot of my friends will start dating a new guy, and I wont see them for months. And usually when I do see them it’s because they broke up. They get stuck together, spend every second with one another, and then get sick of each other quickly. It is very important for a person to set aside time for just themselves, whether it be actually hanging out alone or going out with their friends with out their significant other. This is a luxury we have as young adults dating. You are not married. You do not live together. You have the opportunity to do what ever you want while your younger and still be in a relationship, something that use to be very uncommon a generation ago. Marriage will be great, but for right now I like how things are for us. We are young and we are having fun, and it’s perfect.

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I’ve had a lot of friends in my time, but it seems that only a few of them have really stuck around. I think that’s how it is for everyone. I have tons of social friends that I go out with to the bars or parties, but some of them probably don’t even know where I was born. I love the few friends that I do have that have been there for me through it all. My best friend I’ve known since we were in first grade together, and last year I was the maid of honor in her wedding. I feel so lucky to have that relationship because I know a lot of people don’t have friends still from when they were that young. A few other friends I met in junior high and in high school in my home town that I still talk to, and in college I have met just a couple more to add to the list. I would say, that in my entire life time, I have made less than 10 friends that I know will always be a big part of my life. I’ve made tons of other friends, aquatints, what ever you want to call them that have been an important part of a portion of my life, but it just happens. You eventually grow apart and the relationship is suddenly gone. It’s sad, but it’s just how things go. I know the friends that have stuck in my life have stuck there for a reason. I love them and I feel so lucky to have some many true friends that I know will do anything for me, and that I will undoubtedly do anything for as well.

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I’ve got family all over the country, some even outside of it for the time being. It’s hard to keep in touch, we have all the social networking sites like myspace and facebook, but it’s just difficult to keep up with everyone with those. So, I recently bought a new computer and saw that it had a web cam on it. My computer from when I was younger didn’t have one of these, but we had bought one to connect to it and see what it would do. We never used it, no one did then. But, with this new one, I found out about the free program skype. You can make video chat phone calls to anyone else that has an account with them. I downloaded it and, surprise, soon forgot about it. Then, I was talking with my aunt in California and she mentioned that she also had it. We added each other and had out first video chat. It’s amazing how clear the video and voice can be with a good internet connection. I walked around my apartment and took my aunt on a tour that would probably have never happened. Since then most of my family has added the program and we often have video chat conversations. A few of my cousins and their kids are stationed in Germany right now, and with out the program we would only get to see them once a year or less, but now I can get online any time (keeping the time difference in mind, haha) and give them a call and see what’s going on. I love this program, recommend it to anyone at all, even if all of your family is in the same city it’s still a fun and free way to make phone calls.

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